- My darling little boy <3
- Bret Hart!!!
- My frds who stuck by me thru thick n thin
- My wonderful family
- D no. '2'
- Burberry Candy Pink/Blue Label
- Radley
- Strawberries/cranberries & bitter chocolate
- Forming pictures n stories wif clouds
- Sunset
- Ice cold beer/Merlot
- Strawberry Margarita!
♥ w|sH|nG uPoN a sHoOt|nG sTaR
- For my loved 1s to be well n healthy
- To someday be Mrs L..n :)
- See Bret Hart!!!
- A cute little doggie of our own!
- Taiwan trippie!!
- Redang trippie
- Europe trippie
- Spend Xmas in Calagry
- A room filled wif tatty bears
- Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly -
I m a simple ger, living in d beautiful, dreamy world my dearest little boy has created 4 us. He has simplified my world of complications.
"Sm1 who holds me at my weakest, sees me at my ugliest, and a heart that still loves me at my worst."
I wan 2 b remembered as d ger who alwys mks u exasperated but canot stop laughing, finds her irritating yet enduring, d ger who brings a smile 2 ur face even wen she canot find her own.
Blessed wif wonderful frds, families n d sweetest love. To all dose who haf left footprints in my life, if dey haf've been blown away by d wind, I'd prob haf 4gtten abt u, n u'd prob nt b reading dis. But for dose who haf left a mark in my heart, I'll hold u dear in me forever. Tks 4 makg such a big diff in my life (:
~ 我的最大幸褔是发现了我爱你 ~ Current state of mind:
"If only smiles r reflections of wat d heart feels, love will b real. If only love is untainted without deceit, fairytales will come true. If only u believe, dere'll alwys b me & u."
♥ My Yester-years
November 2005[::] December 2005[::] January 2006[::] February 2006[::] March 2006[::] April 2006[::] May 2006[::] June 2006[::] July 2006[::] August 2006[::] September 2006[::] October 2006[::] November 2006[::] December 2006[::] January 2007[::] February 2007[::] March 2007[::] April 2007[::] May 2007[::] June 2007[::] July 2007[::] August 2007[::] September 2007[::] October 2007[::] November 2007[::] December 2007[::] January 2008[::] February 2008[::] March 2008[::] April 2008[::] May 2008[::] June 2008[::] July 2008[::] August 2008[::] December 2008[::]
Monday, February 20, 2006
The pain is eating her alive. It's a feeling worse dan death. She feels so lost, so exasperated. Tears threatening so hard 2 gush out of her eyes yet there seems to b an invisble film holdin them back. She had tried so hard 2 hold on n she had tried so hard 2 let go. After mths of struggle, tears n heartache, ntg has changed. She's still at d v.same spot after circling round n round. She's desperately lookg 4 a release, sm1 2 cut tt string finali. She opens her mouth 2 scream but no voice comes out. She tries 2 stab herself but no blood flows out. The exasperation is killing her..slowly but surely. She's choking on her own feelings..she's a prisoner of her own heart. All she wans is 2 get her life back..but nw, she no longer noes who she is or wat is she living 4..she has lost herself..
Dere r so many thots in my mind..I'm drowning in them. Reali feel like jus getting knocked dwn by a car or smtg. Save me frm dis flesh-eating disease-like torture. My gosh..sm1 pls pls pls help me! Sighs..
Cant rem wen was d last time I smiled frm my heart. Cant rem wen was d last time I was truely hapi. Cant rem wen was d last time my mind isn't troubled. Cnt rem wen was d last time I understood wat love is. I feel like I m in d middle of the sea, far away frm shore..I can't c nitg but d sky n water. Etg seems so empty, so far away. I dono which direction 2 swim 2wds, I dono wat 2 do. I jus kp treading water..until I haf no more energy. I feel like jus letting myself sink in2 d water. I no longer noe where's d shore n cant b bothered 2 find out nimore. All I wan is a release frm d mental n physical torture tt I m in nw. Wo zhen de hao tong ku...
Y does it seem tt etg I do is wrong? E'choice I mk doesnt go thru? Hw long more does dis haf 2 go on? The exasperation is reali eating me alive. It's not my choice. It's reali nt my choice...
0948. No mood 2 work. Feel like a zombie. I nd a drink. Dono wat else 2 do bs tt..Sighs..I thot I had etg figured out. Y do tgs alwys go bk 2 d way dey were? Like a mirorr, once smashed, will nv b pieced bk in2 a perfect mirror again. Wat's d pt of tryin so hard?
Sighs..let's tok abt happier tgs..nt tt dere's nitg reali hapi in my life rite nw but...
Oki..let's c wat I did ytd. Met Em 2 go 2 tt tea house pl at Tanjong Pagar 4 lunch. Tt pl's quite cute..alot of dose funi chinese tea stuff. I usuali drink chinese tea out of a brown can labelled Oolong Tea. Simple. Tt pl has 1001 steps of drinkg a small small cup of tea. Hahas~ But quite nice ah..d lotus leaf rice is nice nice oso. I found d tea pot so cute..bot 1. Freaking tiny thing costs $28!!! My gdness. Shall stick 2 my Oolong tea. Can buy 28 cans wif tt amt.
Went Marina 2 watch Walk The Line. Starting part of d show's real boring but twds d middle part, it got interesting. Sighs..d theme of d story seemed 2 b rubbing salt in2 my open wounds. Dono y dese few days kp watching shows abt unfaithfulness. My gosh. Tok abt irony man. Sighs..is dere a definite rite or wrong on dis topic? Well, at least d guy in d show was clear on who he loves n wans 2 b wif n doesn't cause more pain 2 ni1..sighs. Love..sighs..wat crap. Argh!
After tt went Coffee Club 4 a drink & headed hm. Watever happened 4 d rest of d nite..sighs..
I tink I nd 2 watch a comedy. My life's depressing. 1134. Half hr more 2 lunch. Sighs..don feel like working at all. My shoes seem 2 b filled with lead. Every step seems 2 weigh a ton. Argh!!
1151. I nd a break. Go toilet.
1257. Bk frm lunch. Went Caltex Hse 2 walk ard..no appetite 2 eat nitg. Was tinkg wat 2 get Ter 4 his bdae. Thot of gettin him anti-depressant pills. Can get sm 4 myself at d same time oso. Yi ju liang de. Sighs..
1347. I've finali done it. My heart is so painful nw. Ntg matters 2 me nimore. Ntg at all. I'm finali free but I've lost myself forever..
: francinesy@gmail.com
Monday, February 20, 2006
8:13 AM