- My darling little boy <3
- Bret Hart!!!
- My frds who stuck by me thru thick n thin
- My wonderful family
- D no. '2'
- Burberry Candy Pink/Blue Label
- Radley
- Strawberries/cranberries & bitter chocolate
- Forming pictures n stories wif clouds
- Sunset
- Ice cold beer/Merlot
- Strawberry Margarita!
♥ w|sH|nG uPoN a sHoOt|nG sTaR
- For my loved 1s to be well n healthy
- To someday be Mrs L..n :)
- See Bret Hart!!!
- A cute little doggie of our own!
- Taiwan trippie!!
- Redang trippie
- Europe trippie
- Spend Xmas in Calagry
- A room filled wif tatty bears
- Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly -
I m a simple ger, living in d beautiful, dreamy world my dearest little boy has created 4 us. He has simplified my world of complications.
"Sm1 who holds me at my weakest, sees me at my ugliest, and a heart that still loves me at my worst."
I wan 2 b remembered as d ger who alwys mks u exasperated but canot stop laughing, finds her irritating yet enduring, d ger who brings a smile 2 ur face even wen she canot find her own.
Blessed wif wonderful frds, families n d sweetest love. To all dose who haf left footprints in my life, if dey haf've been blown away by d wind, I'd prob haf 4gtten abt u, n u'd prob nt b reading dis. But for dose who haf left a mark in my heart, I'll hold u dear in me forever. Tks 4 makg such a big diff in my life (:
~ 我的最大幸褔是发现了我爱你 ~ Current state of mind:
"If only smiles r reflections of wat d heart feels, love will b real. If only love is untainted without deceit, fairytales will come true. If only u believe, dere'll alwys b me & u."
♥ My Yester-years
November 2005[::] December 2005[::] January 2006[::] February 2006[::] March 2006[::] April 2006[::] May 2006[::] June 2006[::] July 2006[::] August 2006[::] September 2006[::] October 2006[::] November 2006[::] December 2006[::] January 2007[::] February 2007[::] March 2007[::] April 2007[::] May 2007[::] June 2007[::] July 2007[::] August 2007[::] September 2007[::] October 2007[::] November 2007[::] December 2007[::] January 2008[::] February 2008[::] March 2008[::] April 2008[::] May 2008[::] June 2008[::] July 2008[::] August 2008[::] December 2008[::]
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Last day of Cny hols le. Back 2 work tmr le. Zzz...
How's ur Cny? Mine's..gd & bad. Don ask. Niwaes, went to watch Fearless last nite. The show's v.philosophical. Alot of fighting and stuff too but it's like telling u alot of ren sheng dao li..nt a v.typical Jet Li show. Nonetheless..quite enjoyed d show.
Oh oh!! U noe the ladies at Jurong Pt? Damn high tech le..even their flush is a touch screen flush..Amazing..
Woo...I m impressed..
Tinkg of buying a new hp. Sudd the n70 looks damn irritating 2 me. Bloody copycats. I was d 1 who got it 1st. Damnit. *pui* Any suggestions ni1?? No more nice-looking nokia phones ley..sighs..tgs r alwys lydet..wen u don wan it, it's all over d pl..wen u wan it..can't find..blehz. Or mb I shd trade-in..yea..den I donid 2 spend. I donid 1 more hp niwae..2 many liao..Phone phone!! Wat hp shd I get?? I nd ideas..
I m so hungry. Been up since 8+ am. It's almst 1400 nw. Haven had a bite since. Sm1 said he'll come find me 4 lunch..tt big baby jus woke up... -.-''' *bites* I NEED FOOD!!!
Gym tmr..yeah yeah. Tink I put on 5 kg within dese 2 days le. =( I m still hungry.. Work 1 day tmr, den on course 4 d nxt 2 days..yipee! I love dis wk! Lalala..~~
Wat hp shd I get? Wat shd I eat? Wat shd I do? Sighs...decisions decisions decisions...tsk tsk..
12:48 PM
Saturday, January 28, 2006
I m depressed.
Sighs..I noe dis feeling is v.negative 4 cny eve but can't help it. Gt news after dinner tt my grand-aunt passed away. I've nv met her in my life, I've nv heard of her existence..I onli knew her 2dae as my grand-dad's elder sis..onli after she's gone. I m nt saddened by her passing away. I m saddened by the realization tt life is reali so short. It was so sudden tt it made me reflect on many tgs.
I've nv reali had 2 deal wif such kind of loss b4. Onli wen I was in P6, my paternal gdma passed on. I was relatively close 2 her but mb cos I was 2 young den 2 reali feel nitg much. I rem I cried but onli cos e'1 else was. I missed her but the memories of her was 2 little 4 mi 2 hold on 2..
Life is reali so short. Who's 2 say hw much time u haf? Smtimes I feel tt I m wasting my life away. My life is in a big mess, I don even noe wat I wan. Sighs..dono y I m so impacted by dis. I reali admire my grand-dad. I wish I had his strength. He was close 2 his sis. But wen he heard d news, he could still smile n joke with us but I noe he was crying inside. I wanted 2 console him but I noe he's d sort tt wun let ni1 c his tears, so I jus pat him on d back n smiled at him. He smiled back. He knows my concern 4 him.
My heart's in pain. Thot of sm1. Wanted 2 msg him, let him noe tt I m upset. But wat right do I haf 2 do tt? None at all. Doesn't matter. I'm gg 2 learn 2 bc like my grand-dad. I used 2 b tt way..I'll jus go back 2 d way I used 2 b.
When I wanted 2 cry, u r nv dere When I needed a shoulder 2 rest on, u've lent urs to sm1 else When I had problems at work, u r alwys furthest frm me When I m unwell, the person bs me taking care of me is nv u "Life is too short..to live alone..without some1, to call my own..."
10:07 PM
The hurt in your eyes breaks my heart The tears in ur heart is visible to me Don ask me for an ans Don ask me why Don say tt I'm a nearest distant dream I've nv lied It's jus tt..love is reali blind ----------------------------------------------------- Nights of slpg alone Days of walking alone U say I'm d nearest untouchable tg in ur life I've seen the tears u shed I've heard d promise u begged me to make Mb it's fate tt let us meet N oso 1 day..to let us part.. ----------------------------------------------------- Feeling kinda nostalgic 2nite. Pardon me. Don ask wat made me tink of dose words. I haf no idea. Shoulder still aching. Damn.
On a happier note..hees! Finali got the pictys frm Lollipop!!
Hees..my xiao shuai ge..~ Can u spot me at the back?? :p
Anor cute picy of him..nt I take de hor... :p
Terry & mi**
Artistic orh..
Ri & I with our TM, May Lian..nice nice..~
Dylan drunk on the way to toilet..hahas..
~My personal jukebox~
Hw can I miss out..? My 2 fave guys in the office.. =))
Haf no idea y Dylan took dis..taken frm top of my beer mug..he tinks it's cute -.-'''
Color code: Whitest - White - Whiter
**(n_n)v
Crazy boys.. =p
*****************************************
My shoulder pain pain. =( Miss miss sm1...Gg 2 slp slp le..gotta get up early..lalala~
12:01 PM
Friday, January 27, 2006
FRIDAY LO!!!! *Yipee!!*
Relatively relaxed day..SO FAR..damn full frm lunch still. My gosh. I mentioned 3 days ago tt I had a craving for char siew..tt kuku Ri went 2 queue 4 damn long 2 get a big big plate of it during lunch 4 me. My gdness..I was supp 2 lose 4 kg by tmr!!!! HELP!! But ok la..muz gif him abit of credit..quite swt of him..hees..oh oh!! N he quit smoking le~ (n_n)v I m gd influence. Hahas..sighz, but I noe smtg will mk him go bk 2 it wif jus a snap of the fingers.. =(
Can't wait 4 wkend. Bot damn alot of new clothes. Nt exactly 4 CNY..it's jus an excuse. Hahas..waitg 4 sm1 2 come n help me clear my over-flowing room-ful of crap. Blehz.
Lazy afternoon. Been surfing and emailing RI n Terry the whole day. Hahas..hw I wish e'day was like tt. 1.5 more hrs to go..den to gym..den hommie!! I wana slp slp..damn tired..can hibernate 4 d nxt 4 days. Yippe**
Shall go bk n stone stone 4 awhile. Office's kinda cold 2dae.. =( Missing sm1 v.badly.. =((
Gtg mk overseas call le..Tatas!!
3:26 PM
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
What's ur take on office r/ships? Terry & I were discussing dis topic 4 a long time..opinions ni1? Our thots on tt? If u r tinkg of leaving ur job, mite as well..cos office r/ships, more often dan nt, will cost u ur job..we spk frm experience man.
My shoulder was killing me d whole day. Tink I m getting old. I was walkin ard like a turtle wif my neck sticking out cos I can't move my shoulder. Damn painful. Work was ok..heng nothing happened 2 me. Blehz. Boring day at work..cos both Ri n Terry nt here 2dae. Both mc cos of sorethroat. Damn qiao man..I wonder wat did dey do 2gtr..hmm.. *grins* Niwaes Ri said he'd rather me tink tt he's gay dan 2 tink he's a playboy..so well, u nv noe..hees..
Love
Falling leaves make lonliness feel right The chilly breeze makes the heart weary I went bk 2 the pl where we parted In memory of u who was once the love of my life Love is like a beautiful tattoo carved deeply in2 the heart I shd forget u But I just can't learn hw 2 do tt Don ask me when will I learn to do tt U will nv b able 2 gif me the world tt I long for Some feelings will give time a nice memory But if it's jus a step 2 late It'll only become a painful scar Who has seen the tears I've shed? Every drop in my heart makes me realize Every love story will haf it's own ending It serves to remind me nv to fall 2 deep again Memories takes away the colors of the seasons As time passes.. I would haf faded frm ur memory Love is just a illusion Hurt is real...
I haf no idea y I wrote tt..don ask.
I wana eat pasta! Waiting 4 sm1 2 cook 4 me..lalala..My room is in a serious need of packing n clearing. Any1 wana help me wif it? I've been putting it off 4 like a mth n half le. V.lazy 2 start ley..sighs..everything is jus thrown on d floor..it's driving my mom nuts..hahas! I tink I nd anor room. *think think think*
Argh! Shoulder damn painful! Shd I take mc tmr? Feels like 2 elephants tryin 2 pull my shoulder blades apart. Grr.. Oki oki, shall stop whining..tink I better go rest le..damn tired..hw do I get d elephants 2 go away???
Help... =(
9:14 PM
Tks for all tt u've done for me..tks for being my venting machine..tks for being dere for me when I nd some1. Tks for the gift..tks for everything... *touched*
Had a v.contradicting day. Work was shit. Was in desperate need for a punching bag. Poor Ri sitting bs me got the most of it. Blehz..sorry little idiot.. =) Sighs..hopefuli tgs will b alrite tmr. Sudd don reali feel like gg 2 work tmr..can I take a day mc? Sighs..
Real tired 2dae. Thot of gg str8 hm 2 slp slp..can diet oso. Ended up at Sushi Tei wif Em for din din. I gt a shock wen I saw d bill.. $96.50!! My gdness! Hw did 2 ppl manage 2 eat so much?? Irritated d hell outa him d whole nite until he canot tahan me..said he wanted 2 call bean bean 4 help. Hahahs..
I said I haf a hope of gg zoo n night safari for a long long time le..nxt tg I noe he flagged a cab n we were on d way to d nite safari. -.-''' Was expecting no crowd at all..but surprise surprise! The pl was packed wif tourists. I learnt 2 things 2nite.
1. It's freaking expensive 2 go to d bloody zoo!!!! Stupid entrance tix costs $28 EACH!!!! 2. Every freaking tg dere is damn exp!! A disposible cam costs $27!!! My gdness..n d worst tg is...WHOLE PL DON ALLOW FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY!! Hw 2 take pics in d dark???
Taken outside nite safari
Reali nice pl..n of cos, the wolves r my fave part of it! They r reali beautiful..sighs..hw I wish I can take pics. Poor boy was alrd so tired but he walked all d way bk wif me 2 see them again, panting with every step..hahas.. =) The wind was so cooling, nite breeze blowing in my face, exotic animals all over d pl..had a deer almst jus next 2 me wen I was on d tram..wat better way is dere 2 spend a nite?
Went for a drink at d Bongo Bar outside d nite safari. Nice bar..it's a v.open concept pl but d drinks were ridiculously expensive..my gosh.
Bongo Bar
Island Fantasy & Singapore Sling on zebra table.. =)
Had a reali njoyable time 2nite..despite my headache at work..managed 2 vent mst of it out on Em..hahas! Smtg kpt looping at d back of my mind d whole trip..sm1 promised 2 bring me 2 d zoo a long time ago..so long ago le..ah, well...wat r promises...? Time 4 bed..mc tmr?
1:31 AM
Monday, January 23, 2006
I love the way ur eyes search me out frm the crowd I love the way u smile I love the way ur voice commands power I love the way u ask 4 my name But I don love u..
Hahas..wat a funi poem. Thot tt up on d way hm...but dono who's it 4 or even if it's 4 ni1..guess I m jus feeling delirious. 2 many phonecalls le..tink I m gg crazy.
I like my life nw. Work, gym, hanging out, gg 4 drinks etc. Life's gd..easy n relaxed. Hw I wish dere r reali no complications n life is reali jus tt ez.
"I could b true to u..but u kp playing with my heart.." The irony of dis statement is painfully funi. No no. Wait. It's jus painful.
The hurt in ur eyes pricks thru my heart The bitterness in ur voice tells me hw hurt u r The sadness in ur smile makes me realize Mayb love reali is..blind. Tired le..cld barely do my workout at gym 2dae. Sudd felt v.much like eating porridge cos v.cold..so went 2 China Sq 2 mum mum din din. 3 of us sat dere chatting til abt 8+ 9 den reali canot take it le..haf 2 go hm n slp slp..hahas..
2 many painful words, 2 many irritating ppl, 2 much hurt, 2 much love. I love my 2 wonderful families, my frds n every1 else. I reali don wish 2 hurt ni1..I oso don wish 2 b hurt nimore. I guess as long as childish, obssessive lying bitches stay clear of my life, I shd b fine. Rite? No. I don tink so..self deception. Yawns..dono wat I'm talkin abt.
Frm nw on, I m jus gg 2 care abt things n ppl worth caring abt..n I m gg 2 treat every1 d same way they treat me. I alwys believe v.strongly in dis quote "Do not do unto others wat u wldn't wan them 2 do to u." Reali v.true. Wat goes ard, comes ard..it reali does.
Man, I took exactly an hr 2 blog dis. I m a slow typer. All Terry's fault. Distracting me. Hahas..wana slp slp le..tatas every1!!
9:48 PM
Sunday, January 22, 2006
SIGHS...has lying bc an obssession? Ridiculous. Y m I alwys dragged in2 things I m nt part of? Pls don insult me. I reali haf much better tgs 2 do dan 2 b as silly n stupid as certain ppl. I'll nt stoop to tt level with dose crazy antics. It's reali a big big insult. Some ppl r reali jus 2 free. Pls go find sm1 else 2 irritate. Shoo shoo! Blehz. *pui*
7:19 PM
Bloody comp died on me again. Qi si wo le. -.-'''
Was walking along Chinatown on Fri...
Mei mei orh..reminds me of the chick chick tt was dere last yr & ... sighs...
I jus cldn't resist taking dis...so cute!! =)
U noe d porridge stall at Chinatown which alwys haf a ridiculously huge crowd? Went 2 try it. My gdness. We had 2 wait 45 mins 4 d food 2 come, d pl was freaking hot and worst of all..I tink d porridge at China Sq fodcourt is so much nicer!! Reali dono wat's d fuss abt. Geez...
After dinner, we walked 2 Lollipop 4 my co. KTV thingy. Hahahs..reali had no idea my colleagues r such a crazy bunch of ppl. Was quite fun..can say it was free flow alcohol. BUT I DIN DRINK MUCH. Reali... =/
3 musketeers.. =))
Spent d whole nite drinking, singing, screaming n taking pics..sorethroat after tt. -.-''' Had my own personal jukebox..kekeke..tks 4 d effort..appreciated. =) Stayed til ard 2+ am den took a cabbie hm.
Went 4 sashimi buffet at Miramar Hotel wif Em last nite..food's delicious!! (at least much better dan d stupid porridge) Ate so much..cld hardly move..but it was reai nice..~ Went Cosy Bay for a drink after tt..v.nice scenery frm d most upper deck..somemore jus rain finish & it was so cooling..nice nice..
*Mei mei de feng jing zhao*
The red wine dere is nt bad..but I still prefer d 1 we had at Altivo. :p Sudd had a craving for bean curd..went Geylang 2 eat d nice nice dou hua.. =)
Tt was my eventful past 2 days.. =))
Ey bean bean, ask u ah..wen did u change job 2 bc a informer ah? U noe, dose kinda ppl who help ppl find out things de... -.-''' *bite* Hahas..u noe wat I m talking abt??
CNY's coming..long holiday..hahas..but oso dono wat 2 do during tt time..don reali like CNY..so many traditions n customs stuff 2 follow..yawns~ I nd a new laptop. Stupid comp is useless. I nd a lot of tgs..mst impt tg I nd is a potion 2 let me not think. Blehz.
10:34 AM
Thursday, January 19, 2006
I learnt a lesson 2dae. No matter hw tired u r, hw u feel u can't go on, jus push urself tt little bit harder n u'll find tt u r nt at ur end yet. I was damn tired at gym 2dae. Was doin my warm up on d treadmill. I wanted 2 gif up after running 0.6km. When I saw Terry surrender, I almst pressed d stop button as well. Den I told myself..anor 0.2km..den anor 0.2km..den...in d end, I managed 2 run 2 km. So..dis tells u, jus push tt little bit harder n u'll realise..u still can go on quite abit more..
Ri said I alwys tink 2 much. Alot of simple tgs y do I alwys haf 2 mk it so complicated. As long as 2 ppl r hapi 2gtr, y tink so much? Jus njoy each otr's company. I dono..mb I m a pessimist by nature ba..
Quite an eventful evening. Mt Em after my gym for din din at Chilli Thai (I tink tt's d name of d restaurant)..had d challenging freaking hot ramen again. I cldn't even finish half of it..but the soft shell crab is nice nice. I gt so stuffed wif 2 glasses of Oolong tea tt I cldn't eat nitg else..
After tt went Boat Quay 2 walk walk 2 digest..super nice scenery. Walked past the booth for river boat ride..sudd had an impulse 2 take it..n tt cuckoo immediately went 2 buy tix. Hahas..
Some shots taken frm the river boat (ehh..my hp camera is nt anti-shock so pics abit unclear.. =p)
V.nice ey..the ride lasted for abt 15 mins or so..so it worked out to like $1/min. Blehz. Went ard Boat Quay, Clarke Quay, Fullerton, Esplande...sea breeze was reali strong..kinda cold..but nice. Went passed the walkway at Clarke Quay..sudd thot of sm1 who had promised me a long time ago he'll take me 4 a walk there..hao jiu yi qian le..well, tt promise, like all others, haf been blown away by d wind. Guess d person walking dere wif him will nv b me le..suan le..
After tt walked bk to Far East Sq for a drink at Briscos.
Chocolate Martini & Strawberry Sangeria by the candlelight
Sat dere talking til d pl closed den took a cab hm..It's 0101 nw..zzz..tired tired. Anor hetic day tmr. I nd my slp. Shall nt tink so much nimore.
I m still by myself..
12:31 AM
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
I reali wish I m totali unfeeling. Feelings r d root of all probs. If e'1 was heartless, no1 wld b troubled by nitg. Wldn't tt b the best? I'm tired of being the 3rd party. Even wen I m nt, by a cruel twist of fate, I'll still end up being 1. Even if I m nt even aware n don even care, I oso end up being 1. It's v.v.bad karma. I'm jus spinning round n round in circles. I wan out of all dis ridiculous nv-ending cycles. If I can't jus haf a normal n simple r/ship, den I'd reali rather jus b alone 4ever. I'm tired of living a life which is drama enuff 2 b Days of Our Lives II.
Work's been crazy lately. After dis job I don tink I wana do cust svc nimore. My gdness. But it's alwys comforting to noe tt dere r ppl ard me who'll mk my job simplier. Tho' work's tough, I do look 4wd 2 gg 2 work e'day. Nt v.much, but I don dread it.
Tiring day 2dae. I tink I walked d dist of 8 mrt stops. Ri was in a v.bad mood after wk..so I acc him walk frm office to Chinatown den to City Hall den to Somerset..my gdness..freaking tired. On d way went 2 shop 4 furniture..dere's a reali nice shop at Park Mall but d stuff's real exp. A bloody fan costs $900+!! Kaoz!
Went for a drink at dis reali cool pl above Alley Bar..it's called..get this, it's damn original man..It's called Ice-Cold Beer Bar..hahahs..
Mmm...nice nice..
Ri trying to be funi..acting gay.. =p
Sat there talking, listening 2 him sing songs, hearing otr ppl's conversations..after tt walked to my old Pri sch 2 c c..it's jus further up at Emerald Hill..it changed so much le, my sch's nt even dere nimore. Well, even ppl can change n b replaced so easily..wat more a bldg? The only thing in dis world tt's constant is change. Ppl change, circumstances change, feelings change..etg changes..
Ri was singing a v.nice song...
No One Else Comes Close
When we turn out the lights The two of us alone together Something's just not right But girl you know that I would never Ever let another's touch, come between the two of us 'Cause no one else will ever take your place
No one else comes close to you No one makes me feel the way you do You're so special girl to me And you'll always be eternally
Every time I hold you near You always say the words I love to hear Girl with just a touch you can do so much No one else comes close
And when I wake up to The touch of your head on my shoulder You're my dream come true, oh yeah Girl you know I'll always treasure Every kiss and everyday I'll love you girl in every way And I always will, 'cause in my eyes
No one else comes close to you No one makes me feel the way you do You're so special girl to me And you'll always be eternally
Every time I hold you near You always say the words I love to hear Girl with just a touch you can do so much No one else comes close
Tired le..gg 2 slp slp le..nites e'1..hopefuli I don haf any dreams 2nite..jus let me haf a gd rest..
11:30 PM
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Tall. Dark. Gorgeously handsome (ok, dis is gramatically wrong but I cant find otr words to describe..n believe me, dis is nt justice 2 hw he looks). Charismatic. Strong. Amazing personality. 1 word to describe - PERFECT. ~ Bret Sergent Hart ~
In d words of Jerry McGuire, "U complete me".
- The love of my life -
---------------------------------------------------------------- Me: Quit complaining abt etg! U r damn hard 2 pls!! Ri: *smirks* U noe me.. Me: U noe..smtimes in life u jus haf 2 b satisfied wif tgs tt u haf! Ri: Wen u r 60, u r satisfied wif wat u haf. Wen u r 24, hw can u b satisfied wif wat u haf?? Me: True..but smtgs u jus haf 2 b! Ri: Wat r u driving at nw....? Me: U noe wat I m talking abt!!! Ri: Y r u so serious abt FOOD??? Me: *bites* Ri: OUCH!!
Tt was our arguement during lunch today cos he was complaining abt hw nt nice every dish was. Irritated d hell out of me. I wasn't jus referring to food but..well, 4gt it. I agree, if we r jus satisfied wif wat we haf, dere'll nv b improvements. But if ur chase 4 satisfaction is at the expense of otr's feelings, is tt rite? I don tink so. Sighs, nm..I m jus in a pms mood 2dae n 2 bad, he was at d wrong pl at d wrong time n bc my chu qi tong. But I m so proud of him..haven smoked in 4 days.. *clap clap*
I still can't get over my issue of selfish ppl n hw ridiculous..sighs..nm. I oso dono wat 2 say. I wan wkend 2 b over quickly. Wana go bk 2 work. Sudd don reali like wkend all tt much.
Oh. Did I mention I love Bret Hart? Jus in case I din..yea, I love him - my only solance in dis heartbreaking world of lies n deceit, my only comfort in my drowning sea of emotions, the onli light in my world of darkness. Is dere anor Bret in dis world?? Seems like dere is..
M I jus finding an escape? Making myself believe tt I m hapi..I m, aren't I? Ahh..wtf. I m gg home.
8:52 PM
Friday, January 13, 2006
Was on half day 2dae. Helped Ri move hse in d afternoon. My gdness! I can't imagine hw sm1 can survive with so little stuff. 2 big duffle bags, 1 laptop, 2 big paper bags. Tt's it. But dey were all v.heavy..tink he put stones in d bags. Was I in 4 a big surprise wen we reached his new pl. Bloody bldg got no lift!!!! My goodness!! I had 2 help him carry the stone-filled bags up 4 storeys!! Luckily I go gym de. If nt..gd luck 2 him man. Helped him pack his stuff abit den went 4 din din. Hahas..it's so near town. Walked 2 Cuppage fd court 4 dinner..den went Cold Storage 2 get sm stuff 4 his new pl. I was tryin 2 b funi n made him buy all pink stuff. But etg I put in, he took it out..n in d end, he was so exasperated wif me, he jus said, "Ahh! Watever ah..u like can le!" Managed 2 get him 2 buy a pink towel. (n_n)v
Was walkin hm alone. Haven done tt in a v.long time. Dono isit d dark sky, d chilly wind, d full moon, d scarce stars or wat..sudd alot of thots came in2 my mind. I m hapi wif d way my life is nw. I like my work, haf such gd frds, my loving family, ppl who care so much abt me. No restrictions, no committments, no frustrations, nt a care in d world. I've gotten bk d freedom I had, learnt nt 2 b so serious in alot of tgs..learnt tt in dis world, no matter hw much u tink u cant live w/o sm1, in d end..wen tt person has left, u realise tt actuali he/she is nt tt indispensible after all. I nw strongly believe tt no1 canot live w/o sm1 else. I m no longer d same as b4..I guess love is reali like a glass..once broken, no matter hw u try 2 mend it..d cracks will nv go away. I m nt as patient n I wun force myself 2 accept tgs I don wan 2 nimore. Jus take tgs as dey come..I oso don wish 2 tink abt nitg tt'll gif me a headache le.
Read sm1's blog..Reali wonder y ppl r so selfish. Y r dey nv satisfied with wat dey haf n in d end, lose etg n when dey get it bk again, repeat d whole sickening cycle all over. Why?? E'1 makes mistakes. Impt tg is 2 b brave enuff 2 admit it, learn frm it & mk sure u don repeat it! Some mistakes r unreturnable. But some ppl r brave enuff 2 face up 2 it n admit. I reali admire tt courage. But sm otrs, no matter hw wrong dey r, dey'll alwys tink dey r rite..dey hurt d ppl who love them so much n dey still insist on being blind 2 their own faults n blame e'1 else 4 it. It's reali pathetic. But sadly enuff, I tink 85% of d world's population consists of such ppl. N d otr 15% r d 1s who alwys get hurt by d 85%. Sighs...
I believe tt as long as u can face up 2 ur own conscience, u'll b able 2 carry on wif ur life. Mb tt's y tt 85% of ppl can still live a ripe long life..dey do nt haf any conscience 2 spk off, tt's y dey wun feel guilty of all d crap dey do. I simply don understand y sm ppl kp denying tgs tt r so freaking obvious. Dey can look u in d eye n say no even wen dey noe it's no use hiding it nimore. F**king ridiculous.
SIGHS..sudd my heart feels so heavy. Mb I m a sinner too. I bring hurt 2 ppl who tink I bring joy 2 them. Contradicting eh? I oso dono..I m so tired. Watever it is, I nv meant 2 hurt ni1..reali. U may nt noe me, it may nt entirely b bc of me but jus wana say..I m reali sorry..
Ur words still mean smtg 2 me..patience runs out..kp seeing tgs tt doesn't make any sense. Until nw, I still rem wat u said..don let me 4gt..
11:56 PM
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Let's c wat I've been doing 4 d past few days..
Oh oh!! Hees!! I finali watched Chicken Little le!! Persistence reali pays off. Last cinema with the last time slot. Onli Em will haf d patience 2 do tt. =p
Lame show but reali cute. I love the jelly alien thingy..!! So ke ai!! Y don haf d soft toy.. =( Fishy oso v.cute.
Went Fisherman Village on Mon nite. Super nice pl..luckily rain had stopped. Sat bs the beach..super super nice feeling..but it was freezing like hell ah. I was wearing 2 jackets..but tt kukoo insisted on nt wearing a jacket n still sit outside. Oh oh! Bean bean, 4gt 2 tell u..sudd feel tt Erdinger nt bad..nice nice..but the dark 1 no nice..light 1 nicer.. =p
Fisherman Village...
Erdinger Light...I like the glasses..he wanted 2 buy them -.-'''
(n_n)v
Ytd went Cupid 2 celebrate bdae..ermm...let's nt talk abt tt. *shakes head* B4 tt went shopping. He say wana buy clothes, end up is I buy etg. Bleh. Oh oh! I bot 2 skirts!! Told bean bean..she doesnt seem 2 believe I'll wear. *sticks tongue out* My new yr's resolution oki?! I will! Tks 4 the gift..reali love it alot..
Went TCC 2x in d same day. Hahas..tried a drink tt looks so nice..
Mei mei hor? Mon Cheri...
Hahas..2dae 1st day of taking calls on my own. Well, etg has 2 start smwhere..doesn't seem as bad as I expected. Quite proud of myself in fact, considering I was hafg a terrible hangover n onli 2 hrs of slp. Actuali time seems 2 pass quite fast 2dae. Mb cos I had 2 run ard d whole day finding ans 2 custs' stupid qns ba.
Acc Ri 2 Braddell to sign his new lease agreement after work. Both of us were 2 tired 2 go gym n poor Terry had 2 go himself. =p Fri pei ni qu k? The landlord is a v.funi person. Bleh. Went Toa Payoh hub 4 din din den took a v.v.long bus ride hm. Bloody heavy rain. We got totali drenched. My gdness.
I was so bored on d bus cos tt pig was slpg 4 almst d whole journey..
*Roti prata face* he's so gona kill me for dis..hahhas..
I reali hate my comp. Bloody usb port is driving me insane. My parents r driving me str8 in2 the asylum.
In my life of resigned destiny, I had given up on everything. Y did heaven sudd send me an angel? Is tt a calling? Or is dis a lesson in life for the angel? Overwhelmed feelings seems to be taking over me. I dono wat 2 do..I reali dono wat 2 do...
12:05 AM
Sunday, January 08, 2006
I'm in love.
Went 2 watch Family Stone wif Em last nite. Typical fairytale-type romance show. Will nv happen in real life. *Pardon me, I'm reali tt skeptical* Actuali it's a christmasy type of show..nw watch abit wrong timing hor? Hees..but overall nt 2 bad la. I still wana watch my Chicken Little.. =( Luke Wilson is sooooo gorgeous!! But of cos, Bret Hart is still no. 1 to me. Hehehes..
Comp got burnt. Bloody hell. Felt so lost d whole day ytd w/o my comp. Tink it's a gd time 2 psycho my dad in2 buy a Sony laptop 4 mi..hmm..shd I shd I? No la..wait awhile more. He jus bot me my N70 ytd..canot ask 4 2 much in such a short time. Hahas..mb I shd get him 2 change his car 4 me 2 drive 1st..Lancer or Civic...hmm... *day-dreaming*
I tink N70 is 2 high-tech 4 me. I spent d whole nite tryin 2 fig out hw 2 use it. Still...I almst had d urge 2 switch bk to the mini. -.-''' Nw tryin 2 find themes 2 dl. Grr..been hrs le, still canot find.
It's amazing hw some ppl can spend almst all their free time at lan shops playing dota. Acc Ri 2 play last wk. Tried 2 understand d game but after sitting dere 4 15 mins, I fell aslp. Will nv understand the art of fighting monsters in d virtual world. Tink he's spending his whole day dere again..zZz..
Sighs..rainy weather..making me drowsy. So many things seem 2 b happening. Oso dono wat 2 tink or do. Trust is no longer existing in my dictionary. Y r the words same here n dere? Almst exactly d same. Hw can words b true 2 2 ppl? My gdness..u noe wat? Easiest way out..DON BOTHER.
Work tmr den hol again. Yipee! Hees..
Time 2 go bk 2 slp. Lalala...
2:45 PM
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Reasons y a ger shd love a guy:
1. He'll alwys send her to her doorstep, no matter hw far or late it is 2. He doesn't like carrying a bag. But 2 shelter her frm a possible rainfall, he'll carry a bag wif jus an umbrella in it 3. A mere mention of a show tt she wans 2 watch which is no longer showing in d theatres, he'll call up e'cinema in sg 4 d slight chance to find out if it's still showing 4. E'pl tt she wans to go, he'll do a thorough research on where it is, when is d best time to go, etc, n bring her dere d nxt day 5. He'll go n buy an umbrella and bring it 2 where she is jus to make sure she doesn't get drenched 6. He'll travel ard d whole sg jus to pick her up, no matter hw far it is 7. He'll reach the meeting pl half hr earlier cos he wun allow her to wait 4 him 8. No expenses spared. Jus as long as it's smtg she wans 9. He gifs out etg..but expects nothing in return 10. He bot nicotine gum to quit smoking cos she doesn't like ppl 2 smoke..unlike otrs who gifs ntg but broken promises..well, den again..a house shd alwys haf 2 chimneys 11. He mks contigency plans abt where 2 go in case plan A falls thur 12. A love tt started more dan a yr ago...
Was in a hurry 2 go gym after work but Ri forced Terry n I to go G2000 wif him 2 get clothes. Chose a couple of shirts n pants 4 him. My gdness. The pl was unbelievably crowded. After gym, Ri n I went Chinatown 4 din din. Wanted 2 go eat porridge cos I insisted on someting LIGHT. But super crowded so went 2 eat some sarawak noodles instd. V.nice ley..yum yum... =)
After tt, Ri walked me to Bugis to mt Em. Halfway thru the v.long n tedious walk, it started 2 pour. Bo bian, we still had 2 con't walkin cos dere was no shelter nearby. We started singing n dancing in d rain..hahas..
Went Altivo 4 a drink wif Em. Beautiful pl. Nw I noe y CERTAIN lovebirds like to go dere so much. Sudd had a craving 4 red wine. Ordered a bottle n some finger food..sat there 4 abt 3 hrs njoying the scenery..reali love d pl. It's beautiful. After tt went 4 a v.short walk cos he insisted on finding some stone walkway thingy..but well, it 's dark n wet everywhere..he gave up his search real quickly. Hahas..den on call cab hm le...zZz..
Edmund n me
Abit dark ah..but it's supp 2 change color de..nice nice..
Some tgs certain ppl say..well, I onli c actions..words r cheap. Dey mean ntg if ur actions prove otherwise. Mb wat u say is still true..but I dono hw 2 trust nimore. 2 many brokened promises, 2 many mths of lies..after so much heartache, u r still exactly d same..wat's d pt? U were d 1 who caused all dis..u were d 1 who let me go..don live to regret it.
4:12 AM
Friday, January 06, 2006
Hahas..d onli person in my office 2 notice my dyed hair was d most unobservant person, Ri. & as usual, I bc d butt of his lame jokes again. Guess purple's nt reali his color. :p
Met Em 4 dinner. Went Sakae..ordered a whole mountain of food as usual n d poor boy had 2 finish etg 4 me. Hahas..he was v.willing 2 at 1st, den complained 4 d nxt 5 hrs + tt I over-stuffed him -.-'''
Watched King Kong. Beautifully disturbing story. (C, 1 stick, I do appreciate d show ok?) Found it quite hilarious oso. D story perfectly depicts the ugly nature of humans and on contrast, d true meaning of wat love shd b. Even a beast has true feelings. Y r humans so selfish n greedy? Up til d v.v.end, all King Kong cared abt was her, even after her repeated running away frm him, even giving up his own life 4 her. No matter wat trouble or danger she's in, no matter hw far away he is, smhw, he'll alwys appear 2 save her. Tt's sense of security. Mb I shd go find a monkey 2 b my bf..much lesser complications. D show stayed in my mind til nw. Can't get over it.
I feel v.selfish. Y do I alwys get myself in2 all dis mess? Isit mi or m I a magnet 4 trouble? I let ppl screw up my life..n I unknowingly kp screwing up otr ppl's lives. I tink e'1 shd jus stay far far away frm me.
U r 2 gd 4 me. Perfect gentleman, almst without vices (well, except 4 smoking u said u r quitting). Ur thotfulness n efforts r undeniable. But u r as unpolished as a diamond, as innocent as a baby..u deserve so much more. U reali do.
12:50 AM
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Woohoo!! I finali dyed my hair!! Hehehes!! A nt v.obvious color tho'..nw hair v.short le. =( I din haf 2 pay a single cent..hees ;)
My appetite's been fantastic lately cos I no longer haf 2 tink of all dose disgusting ppl n tgs tt mk mi lose my appetite..none of my biz nimore. Lalala..But tt's nt a gd tg considering I'm on diet.. =( Let's c wat I ate 2dae..Mac breakie =), a big plate of noodles for lunch and Fiesta for din din =) Can feel my pants getting tighter le. Bleh.
He's so swt. It was raining v.heavily dis afternoon b4 I knocked off and he offered 2 bring me an umbrella even wen he was running late 4 work. I told him donid but it was reali a v.swt thot. =) Tks, my dear. It's reali d thot tt counts.
I like ppl who don mk me wait, ppl who DO wat dey promise 2 do. Wen dey say dey'll call, dey WILL call..and nt gif me sm lame n totali crap reason which, of cos, is a lie as usual, for not calling. No more waiting 4 tgs tt r totali nt worth it. A leopard cant change its spots..so y bother 2 even pretend 2 believe? If u can b njoying ur life, all d more I shd b njoying mine. Swt nothings r nothing. It's actions tt counts. Canot stand dose ppl who promise u the world, swear by deir promises, and end up..it's jus a whole load of b.s. Yawns..zZz..
=) Waitin 4 my 3rd Jap dinner dis wk tmr nite. Yipee! Hahas..madness :p Hmm..actuali warning bells r ringing in my head. I'm jus being 2 sensitive rite? It's prob reali ntg. Rite? Rite. Ok, stop tinkg tgs 2 b so complicated. Ok? Ok.
Alrighty den..gg 2 bathe bathe le. Work again tmr..got d rest of dis wk 2 njoy b4 I face hell nxt week. =( zZz....
10:43 PM
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Jus came hm. Super shagged out. Work was crazy in d later part of d day but well, tt beats sitting ard listening in to calls. Slowly getting used 2 my job but dere r still a million n 1 tgs I dono n I onli gt 2 more days 2 learn b4 I m on my own. =(
Went gym after work. Almst fell aslp running on d treadmill. After our workout, we jus layed on d sofa, canot move le. Terry left after tt so me n Ri went for din din. Hahas..great minds tink alike. We alwys haf d same pl in mind 4 dinner. Went bk to Jerry's, ate our fave mushrooms. =) Ordered a diff kind and lots of otr stuff. Dere goes our workout AGAIN. Well, dere's alwys Thurs n Fri. Lalala..
Sat dere 4 v.long, talking. Nice ambience, nice scenery. He has alot of weird theories..but well, I've heard of weirder stuff..u noe, like tryin so hard 2 mk sm1 trust u again, den do d exact tg tt will mk them lose total trust in u again or tryin so hard 2 mk sm1 believe tt he or she is wif sm1 jus so 2 get over her or swearing on his or her life tt he's gg 2 SETTLE tgs n by tt, he means to BE wif her again etc. 2 many..heard of 2 many weird stories le, I can kinda write a joke book on them. Sheesh..
Ri said tt a relationship is like a key and a lock. To open d lock, d key muz b perfectly fitted in2 it. Tt means tt e'valve of d key has 2 b made 4 d lock. True. Hw many ppl in dis world can actuali find the perfect key to their lock? Sad 2 say, nt many. Tt's y mst ppl don end up marrying d love of their lives, which is oso y divorce rates r so high. Spoke abt tgs we've been avoiding 4 so long. Cleared up some stuff, agreed on some otrs. It's a nice feeling..sitting dere, talking, wif an occasion brokened-dwn WRX sputtering past us..hahas..No feeling of guilt, no tinkg of disgusting ppl n tgs..
Finali home swt hm. Tired like hell. Waiting 4 a msg..hmm..actuali no la, nice tgs canot come 2 often, if nt u'll take it 4 granted. I was kinda hapi wen I saw it dis morn n afternoon le. Absence makes d heart fonder, doesn't it? Hahas..dono wat m I talkin abt oso..
Niwaes, wana go slp slp le. Expecting a bodyache tmr. Nites e'1!!
11:31 PM
I've finali awoken frm a long n deep slp. Sudd feel so free. I've been living my life 4 others 4 far 2 long. I was nv blind to the deception but I chose 2 believe blindly. Finali, I realised I m nt a saint n instd of tinkg who nds me, I nd to tink of who I nd. Blame me 4 being heartless but don blame me for breaking promises. It was nv me who did. Don gif me ridiculous excuses nimore. I m no longer as accomdating as b4. My words still stand, it's jus tt I cant hear u nimore. Don say who I haf by me. U noe exactly hw I feel. We'll live our own lives n leave tgs up 2 fate. U jus take care.
Unresolved issues haf finali been resolved. No ties, no attachments, no responsibility, no committments, no troubles. I'm reali grateful 4 ppl ard me who geninuely care. Rec'd swt msgs dis morn..kinda neutralized my anger abit..but well..I still nd time 2 get over tgs.
Yawns. Bz morn @ work. Calls kp comin in..gd, in a way I donid 2 take calls, jus listen in. But afternoon haf 2 take again. Sians. My lunch time is damn early 2dae. 1130. Gona b a long long afternoon. Sighs. Waiting 4 tt stupid Ri 4 lunch. Anor 15 mins. Still 2 full frm breakie 2 eat lunch. Who d hell eats lunch at 1130am??? My gdness. Shall go walk walk wif him instd.
Alone in d training room, njoying d beautiful view of Boat Quay. Gg 2 slp slp 4 awhile. Tatas every1!!
11:36 AM
Monday, January 02, 2006
I jus learnt the importance of a handphone 2dae. Nw, if (touch wood) my hse gt a fire, d 1st tg I'll grab 2 run out will definitely b my hp.
Supp 2 mt tt ding dong Ri 2 get his replacement SIM card at Orchard v.early dis morn. I was purposely late cos I thot he'll definitely b late. I 4gt tt he got no hp 2 contact me with. So by d time I reached there, I din c him so I thot he's later dan me. So I walked away..went Taka 2 walk walk den I realized..he gt no hp. Hahas..so I rushed bk n still din c him. I left Orchard ard 1115 am. Rite nw it's 1530. I jus woke up frm a nap at my aunt's pl but tt dodo is still waiting in a lan shop at Orchard 4 mi 2 come online. Hahahs..he's reali funi.
So nw I reali noe d importance of a handphone. Never leave home without it.
3:28 PM
Sunday, January 01, 2006
I wana go bk 2 work!! Hols wif ntg 2 do is a big YAWN.
Tampines Mall is a terrible shopping pl. Reali. Freaking crowded n ntg 2 buy. Does Singapore haf so many ppl????? My gdness. Bot a pair of Levis jeans. Damn pissed off. Levis Girls was hafg a sale n it was so freaking crowded but I wanted 2 buy a pair of jeans so bo bian had 2 squeeze in dere wif d discount crowd 2 buy a pair of non-discounted jeans. Grr. Bot an Adidas bag bag oso. Hahas..got an unexpected $150 so decided 2 b abit extravagant.
I tink i m retarded. Even my pain is slow in response. Worst new yr's ever. Words keep floating in my mind. Wonder wat is he doing. I can't even clear my own thots n feelings. Wat right do I haf 2 expect of others? Life is a joke. Destiny is an even bigger joke. Don get me started on love. It's d biggest joke in d world.
Saw some pics. Reminded me of d past. Smtgs, sm ppl..will alwys haf a special pl in my heart. I'm glad u r hapi nw..sorry 4 etg tt happened in d past. Ur smile had alwys been d light of my life. Take care...
Gtg bathe bathe le. Haf 2 wake up damn early tmr. ZzZ. New Yr sucked 4 me..but hope it was great 4 u guys..!!
9:35 PM
Hapi New Yr!! & Hapi Bdae Bean Bean!!!! =))
Hw was new yr celebration??
My new yr's resolution:
. Get rid of all d unnecessary troubles in my life . Get used 2 my work..FAST! . Either make liars stop lying or make myself stop caring..tink the latter is easier . Get my Bret Hart dvd collection...SOMEHOW! . Spend more time wif ppl who care 4 me..I haf taken 2 many ppl 4 granted 4 2 long.. . Make ppl I care 4 stop smoking..tt's kinda mission impossible..but well, I'll noe soon... . Pack my super overloaded room..2 much rubbish frm d past.. . Lose 5 kg..but den Ri will tell mi I'm "Toy 'R Us" size everyday.. =/ It's nt my fault tt he's..erm..nt slim..oops..hees.. . Don care abt ppl who r nt worth caring abt..dis is smtg I shd've done a long time ago..
Yea man, tt's my new yr's resolutions. Hahas..I noe 1 stick's sure gg 2 laugh at me. Shut up. I can do it ok. Bleh.
Sudd had a thot..nt a v.nice tg 2 tink abt on d 1st day of d yr but well.. Y r some ppl so selfish? I mean, I'm nt tokg abt every1 but jus some ppl. Dey wan u all 2 themselves but dey cant jus onli haf u. Dey wan u 2 do alot of tgs, dey don wan u 2 do alot of tgs..but dey themselves r doing exactly wat dey don wan u 2 do AND not doing etg dey wan u 2 do. Is selfishness n greediness reali jus part of human nature? I m nt tokg abt ni1 in particular..but well, u noe..it's jus a thot..
M I feeling bitter? Or m I jus lamenting? Is dere a diff? No no. It's nt gd 2 feel so melancholic on new yr's..Thou shalt bee harpi!! Bleh..tink I m mad. Hahas..
'Love', 'trust', 'sorry' and 'I love u' r words tt r over-abused. I used 2 tink no matter hw gd a liar a person is, the eyes nv lie. Nw I've learnt tt even d eyes can cover up d truth. Wen u don even noe if ur own words r true or false, wat's real left in dis world?
Yawns..tink I've woken up 2 early. I'm done wif my nonsensical retrospective of human nature. Let me jus leave u wif 1 more forlorn poem..Hapi new yr every1!!
In Spirit
Though you don't live next door, Though you're far away, You're still here in my thoughts Every week, every day.
When events of the day Cause this soul to despair, Just the sound of your voice Makes them easy to bear.
When I don't have the luxury of feeling your touch Or taking in your scent, which I appreciate so much, I need only look back at the times we have had To wonder if I've any right to be sad.
You're truly a blessing. And I want you to know That I care for you deeply, Wherever I go.
: francinesy@gmail.com
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
12:48 PM
.jpg)
